End or new beginning?

Costly guests
For the past two years we have struggled to keep St James' church open with shrinking numbers and income, just about managing, because of regular donations from the Cardiff Christian Life Centre our 'guest' Pentecostal congregation who use church buildings twice weekly generously compensating for the costs of heating and lighting they use. Back last autumn they told us their numbers were also decreasing and that they could only afford to pay half of what they had previously. We simply had to accept this, half a donation is better than none.
However, fuel bills at the end of the winter quarter turned out to be a thousand pounds more than the amount budgeted for on the basis of the original agreed donation. Late last year we reduced our cash-flow reserve to next to nothing to pay for modifications to the heating boiler that would allow it to be certified as safe under new regulations. So, suddenly, as Lent was under way, bankruptcy stared us in the face. Neither the Pentecostals nor the Parish is in a position to rescue St James'.
The Pentecostals are a modern congregation in every sense, in worship and in their offering of ministry to young individuals and families. The difficult thing is that their expectations about how warm a building should be for worship are different from ours. Their members like to pray in shirtsleeves, as they would at home. So, the past couple of years of their being with us have been punctuated with embarrassing conversations, requests and un-kept promises relating to thermostat levels.
At one stage during Lent they ran a midweek convention in addition to their usual services. During this, the church heating was maintained at such a high level that the heat started to affect the pipe organ. It started emitting strange sounds or unexpected silence instead of sweet music. Thankfully Spring's here and it's possible to switch off heating we can no longer afford to run. It made us realise that we can no more afford to offer hospitality to our 'guests' than they can afford to contribute to maintaining the church in the style to which they are accustomed. They are costing us and we can ill afford it. Sad but true. What to do next?

Cardiff to the rescue?
I recently learned that city government officials were hunting for space to accommodate Cardiff's local history archives, and possibly to open a reading room for public access as part of this. Ideal, we thought, agreeing what a great use of the empty nave of the church it would be. So, I did some soundings, to see if there was any interest. The council sent a surveyor to look at the property, but he looked doubtful because the archive people are greedy for as much space as they can get. The floor space would only be adequate, if it were possible to build upwards into the fifty foot interior space of the nave before reaching roof level. We hoped it would be.
Well, the discussion of this lasted an anxious week. It was just our luck that the same week a decision had to be made, another city government department announced that seventeen schools would have to close as part of a rationalisation programme, due to the shortage of pupils. With all that empty property to choose from, and a political storm brewing, overtures in our direction turned quickly into an apologetic finale. It would have been a great project, and would have done the area much good.

Mission with hands tied
If only we could have given the church to the city, in return for its repair and maintenance, and the occasional use of the chancel, as happened 40 years ago to St Nicholas in Bristol city centre, maybe it would have been worth further thought. I learned from the Church in Wales Properties Officer, however that we can no longer give buildings away. Only sale at market rates is now acceptable in conformity with the Charity Trust deed governing church assets. Apparently in the past, redundant school and small church buildings had been disposed of at less than their real value, perhaps because of the need to lighten the burden of liability for managing so many decrepit properties. No longer is this allowed.
Charity is now more business-like, some would say too business-like to reflect its spiritual origins, when trustees are obliged to make a decent profit, and go the way of the open market. The Pentecostals would love to be given the building to run at their expense, and would even let the Parish continue to use the chancel for worship - well they think they can afford it - how come they had to halve their donation to running costs? It doesn't make sense, any of it.

Biting the bullet
We had a St James' annual church meeting after the Eucharist on Easter day. Jenny and I, plus eight others of thirty registered members. Iris, sub-warden and treasurer announced that we were all but broke. Having explored the idea of temporary closure to save heating costs altogether next winter, and obtained permission to move regular worship into the school, it seemed as if the time had come to admit that our ambition to re-develop the church for multiple community use was foundering, for lack of support from all directions. Yet, the school thrives and our recent work with some school families has been promisingly supported. Difficult though it was for anyone to accept, we agreed the best possibility would be in establishing worship and pastoral care permanently in the school, and giving in to the insistence of the Representative Body to accept the inevitable, declare the building redundant and put it up for sale. All would not be lost because there'd be the prospect of raising funds that might be used to establish a new pastoral centre, more sustainable and appropriate to our actual needs, in the school.

The strange long view
How are the mighty fallen! It's just about 115 years since the church was built to replace an overflowing temporary building where the church halls now stand. That had been constructed 20 years earlier next to the site of the very successful Tredegarville Church school in response to the pastoral need growing out of the school population. Here we are 135 years later still with a very successful school, staffed by keen and dedicated Christian teachers, with more practising Muslims among the children than practising Christians, and the rest belonging either to lapsed families or families which lost connection with the church generations ago. The school still offers the best opportunity for Christian mission in this context, rather than struggling to put to better use a building which has become a huge burden to church members.

Vain ambition?
As I said, our Pentecostal 'guests' would love to take over the building. They have a large house which was formerly a doctor's surgery a few hundred yards away, across Newport Road. It has a sign outside proclaiming 'Cardiff Christian Life Centre - building a Cathedral for the 21st century of living stones.' I wrote to the pastor to tell him that we wouldn't be able to offer his people hospitality much longer because we couldn't afford to do anything but close down and sell up.
Within hours, however, I had a return message from him asking whom he could contact about acquiring the building. I still await a response to the news, an expression of concern or regret or solidarity. I did my duty as civilly as I could under the circumstances, but couldn't resist pointing out the irony in his advertising strap line, as he so much wanted to take on an edifice from the century before last as a base for mission today. Is one man's millstone around the neck really another man's springboard?
No matter how much people and enthusiasm for mission are in abundance, one can get overwhelmed by the duty of responsible stewardship of difficult to manage resources. Travelling light, 'mission with empty hands' is another option, which also has its disadvantages, but after years of struggling not to be overwhelmed by building management problems, the grass certainly looks greener on the other side.

Time for creativity

It's over a month since I last posted. Life has been full, with lots to recount but not enough time to do it. After the first week's lapse, I decided it would better to keep my thoughts to myself for a time and then try to summarise the important things. I didn't know how much there'd be to tell when it was time to catch up again.
Lent is generally fairly busy, with a Friday lunchtime lecture series to run, and a Wednesday lunchtime biblical meditation series to write and lead over and above usual activities. Then there were the extras.

Lent in a multi-cultural context
God on Mondays for Tredegarville school-kids, staff and parents carried on, with a Lenten theme, and culminated in an end of term 'Palm Thursday' celebration with all the school, at which over 200 Palm Crosses were distributed as a reminder of the forthcoming Holy Week celebrations. It's a lovely thing to be able to do, but we need to find a way to discuss this with Muslim parents, to reassure them it's not an attempt to proselytise, but simply a gesture of good will and a reminder of the love of Allah for all his children. Some children were at ease refusing to take a cross, others just felt left out, one little boy even cried, and was given a cross surreptitiously. "Don't worry"said his teacher, "I'll explain to his mum later."

Confirmation experiment
This year my colleague Jenny and I decided to take the junior confirmation candidates away for a weekend preparation course, rather than struggle to keep them together for ten weekly sessions, doing battle with candidates' domestic and schooling schedules, not to mention sickness and other arbitrary forms of leave-taking interrupting the flow of the learning programme. Planning and preparation were quite hard to insert into the regular schedule, but somehow we managed it, and found ourselves excited at the prospects of a new opportunity.
On the first weekend of April, we escaped a Cardiff overrun by football fans for a big game and head for Mid Wales, to Cefn Lea Holiday centre near Newtown, a place with accommodation and conference space for hundreds, run successfully by a Christian farming family for the past 25 years.
It was good for our group of a dozen to mix with larger church groups also there for the weekend, for the children to see themselves as part of something Christian much bigger that they are used to and country wide. Our programme worked well. Everyone joined in and enjoyed themselves, in spite of the heavy rain which fell in between sunny breaks. It was a weekend in which we saw several wonderful rainbows spanning from hillside to hillside, when we succeeded in getting out and about. Now that's something worth remembering, to associate with Confirmation.
On the way home we stopped at Brecon Cathedral for long enough to have a look around and attend Evensong. I wonder what the youngsters made of that, it being so different from their usual experience of worship. They were quite respectful, it struck me - and the staff and stewards were very welcoming to this group who invaded without warning and filled the place with their curiosity.

Lay ministry in action
Being a football weekend, with road closures in place, the parish gathered at St Michael's for just one Eucharist in the absence of the clergy, presided over by the Assistant Bishop, who had the rare pleasure of baptizing an infant during the service. St Teilo's church was occupied by Riding Lights Theatre Company, setting up and rehearsing to perform the 2006 Passion Play 'Calvary'. We arrived home with just enough time to wash, eat and get to St Teilo's to be part of this. 220 people came to witness this powerful piece of drama, set in an act of worship. With clergy away for the weekend, everything had to be left to the good people of St Teilo's to organise. The way it turned out was a credit to them, an example of lay ministry in action. Matt, the new People's sub-warden at St Teilo's conducted the liturgical elements. It was the first time he'd ever done such a thing and he certainly rose to the occasion. Marvellously donations received covered the cost of the event in full, it was a vindication of the faith of Pete, the Peoples' sub warden, who was convinced the church should host the play and risk losing money on it.

Holy Week
We had evening Eucharists at which Jenny and I shared the preaching and the presidency, moving around the four churches on different evenings. We got about a dozen each night, twice that on Maundy Thursday. I preached the first two hours of the Good Friday Vigil, the first time to do so for three years. I made myself prepare the requisite set of six addresses from scratch, as a Lenten discipline to get myself thinking afresh on familiar stories. That way it did me good. For the event itself, an average of thirty people stayed for each of the first two hours, and sixty for the final hour of the Liturgy of the Passion. About thirty passed through for part of each hour, quietly and reverently, but quite a distraction when standing in the pulpit preaching, and wondering if your words are driving them out or simply the clock, or the appetite.
We made something different of the Paschal Vigil the following night. Ten of us came to church at seven thirty in the evening, and waited silently in prayer without liturgical intervention, simply waiting and listening and watching the dusk arrive at the heart of the city. When it was dark we lit and blessed the paschal candle in the porch, accompanied by a loud female folk singer, busking outside the shut pasty shop opposite. I sang the Paschal Proclamation, Jenny read the Resurrection Gospel, and we each acclaimed in turn : "Christ is risen. He is risen indeed!" Orthodox style, then renewed our baptismal vows, and went home, quite refreshed by seventy five minutes of total silence together. After that, Easter Day was a joy and delight to share, although the attendance reflected that many people were taking their Easter vacation away from Cardiff this year.

Altogether, a satisfying time for doing priestly things.

How marvellous, if this were the only story in need of telling.

Lenten trials and encouragements

How different life would be if church law required each parish to have an administrator to support the community and its pastor. There was a time when each Parish church had its full time Virger, who took care of both buildings and much parish administration. Back in Halesowen in the early nineties, during my stay, the last Parish Virger retired and was not replaced because the church could no longer afford to employ someone under modern pay and conditions. Managing a mix of volunteers and part time employees subsequently was quite a task, and not really a change for the better.
Getting a Lent programme together proves to be a struggle each year I do it. No matter how early I start drawing up a programme and recruiting speakers, getting responses to invitations is a bit of a nightmare, despite email, telephones and parish offices, colleagues are often reluctant to commit early to a set programme, not because they don't really want to do it, but because a lot more of us working in the church are overloaded, juggling times and opportunities, and almost fearful of becoming too tied down, as finding people to cover for absences gets harder. This is also a problem with making arrangements to cover absence on holidays. It absorbs time and generates anxiety.
At the last date possible for getting Lent programme publicity out on time, I succeeded, but with five Friday lunchtime lecturers this year instead of the usual six. I simply ran out of time to find someone for the first Friday in Lent. So we began our series: 'Spirituality for Today', with Monica Mills, the Cardiff Bay Lightship Chaplain, speaking about healing, and stimulating some good audience contribution.
I wasn't very pleased with the turnout, just over a dozen. Also the church was cold. It made me wonder why I bothered. She deserved a better audience than this. However, the first of the half-hour Wednesday lunchtime Johannine meditation services drew eight people, and the second today, fourteen. A woman came last week whose face was unfamiliar, though she said she was an irregular visitor. She said she had been reading some of the Christian apologetic leaflets I'd written, under the title 'Christianity for 21st century people', which she found in the tract case at the back of church. She'd found them helpful, and asked if I'd published any books!. This is the first feedback I've had on these leaflets in the three years since I produced them. I was amazed.
I told her I had a book on the Internet. She wasn't impressed or interested, but she did turn up to worship.
The book, 'Stones into Bread', an account of Christian faith for adult enquirers was completed in the middle nineties, re-edited to the bone over several more years, and uploaded to the Web over a year ago, after my few feeble attempts at finding a publisher had foundered. A few friends and family have read it in the past, including my late mentor, Dean Alun Davies, who said of it what he always said reflectively: "Interesting", followed by silence. I've caught myself saying the same about things in situations where I have been reluctant to elaborate. I daren't ask him what he meant by 'Interesting', just in case I didn't like the reply.
A month ago, someone thinking about confirmation asked for something for an adult to read in preparation, and so I handed them the copy which Dean Alun Davies returned enigmatically, which had sat on my shelf for three years unread. To my delight, it was returned a few days ago with a touching note to say that it had been there to read just at a moment of personal crisis and self-searching, and that it had been helpful.
Then a couple of weeks ago, someone else told me that they'd found reference to the book on this blog and had ventured to browse it, and had then downloaded it, printed it out, and read it. I was amazed by this, and even more delighted to learn that it had been helpful.
And it's left me wondering.... does this mean that the time is arriving for others to read it? Should I make a few more braver attempts to publish? I love writing and this blog has given me back a taste for telling of what I know and see.

Awayday in Broadmead

To follow up to the successful 'Church in the Centre of the City' conference last September, regional meetings of city centre missioners was proposed, and ours was arranged for Bristol. Five of us who had been at the conference from South Wales met at Cardiff Central station and took an early train to Bristol Temple Meads, then a bus into Broadmead shopping centre to assemble with others from Nottingham, Oxford, Swindon, Gloucester, Plymouth and Bristol at Broadmead Baptist Church, known as 'the church above the shops'.
There's been a Baptist congregation in Broadmead since 1640. In those days it was well outside the city centre. The old building was devoured in 1967 by redevelopment of the area as a modern shopping centre. The new building's entrance sits among the shopfronts of the main north south thoroughfare. It is a three storey affair with a basement, a collection of different sized meeting rooms, and a voluminous sanctuary the height of the building, to seat several hundred. It represented the latest thinking in liturgical architecture thirty years ago when I first visited it, and I was delighted to see how well it has stood the test of time.
The holy table, baptismal font and lectern/pulpit are all set in proximity to each other, and could easily be used for a variety of different kinds of worship. From each level of the adjacent stair well serving different floors a tall window permits passers by to look in on the act of worship. The solidity and permanence of the sanctuary is a reminder to all who come and go in the building (it is very busy with a great variety of daily activities, religious and secular), of its fundamental purpose, and of the relevance of God to every aspect of our existence. A good choice of venue, by our organiser Professor Paul Ballard.
We spent some time getting to know each other, exploring what sort of issues might be useful to address in future sessions. We looked at the outline of a publication proposed about ministry in city centres - well thought out, but still amenable to modification. Although mudane tasks, they gave us an opportunity to realise what concerns and experiences we had in common as Christian pastors and ambassadors in the realm of secular commerce.
Among the key areas of shared interest were, relating to change in big redevelopment projects (a new large modern shopping mall is under construction in Broadmead to match the one about to be started in Cardiff), change in the city centre economy, the night-time economy, how to relate to the governance and administration of city centre life. Pastoral issues weren't a topic in their own right, but really a dimension, a dynamic of all the bigger concerns attracting attention. We were Anglican, Methodist, Baptist and URC in denominational affiliation, and yet coherent in the sense of our engagement with the same mission. And that was encouraging in these times when it seems as if ecumenism counts for little in church life.
During the lunch break, I took my camera for a walk, as far as St Stephen's the one working Parish church of the city centre, which in Victorian days had eight or more. The fifteenth century church tower bears a strong family resemblance to that of St John's Cardiff, with the same kind of elaborate tracery around its parapet, although the edifice is narrower, and the church itself is smaller. Possibly the same builder was responsible for both. A far sighted Vicar and congregation back in the fifties built a meeting room extension in the churchyard, which serves as a café and place of welcome. Such a pity our parallel project at St John's was constructed inside the building, with its meeting place upstairs.
After lunch, Paul Orders, one of the lieutenants of Cardiff city council's CEO Byron Davies came to speak about strategic planning and development policy. It was good to have an overview of the world in which our work is set, interesting to realise the growing importance of cities as key drivers of regional economy in a long-term perspective being taken from the national government level downward. It's true that 'without a vision the people perish' but technological and social change world wide is occurring and accelerating at a pace without precedent in history. Futurologists try to imagine the outcome of trends, and their ideas are overtaken by facts on the ground. The bigger picture is the moving picture. And where is the church in all this?
We are currently struggling to envisage how to manage ministries and congregations in seven years from now, whilst local government is preparing for 2020 and beyond. Some strategic planners work with building a picture of our environment in 2050, with a changed climate and all that issues from that, to re-shape the face of the earth and the lives of maybe ten billion people on it, if that many survive the unknown side effects of change to come. It all intrigues me so much, I wish I could be around to see it all happen.
Meanwhile, I shall just look forward to the next encounter with colleagues talking the same language, for a change.

A St David’s Day worth remembering

How annoying for Ash Wednesday to fall on St David’s day, March 1^st, as it must do every once in a while. Sensibly, our Roman Catholic neighbours in St David’s Cathedral kept the feast the day before on Shrove Tuesday. The Church in Wales calendar, stuck by its convention of keeping the feast the day after, the second day of the Lenten fast – silly really. An example of how rule bound and unimaginative Anglicans can sometimes be. Secular Wales and Cardiff commerce simply ignored the first day of Lent altogether and kept St David’s day with much pomp, ceremony and promotional psazz.

The Craft market, that comes at Christmas and midsummer, took up residence along St John’s Churchyard railings for the few days either side of St David’s Day, and there was a stages with bands and performances going on somewhere, I didn’t get to see. We woke up to a light covering of snow on our emerging daffodils. It was cold, but soon the sun was out. Quite memorable really.

The Queen came to open our new Senedd building, housing the debating chamber and committee rooms of the Welsh Assembly. Clare and I went down to view the inside last week and were much impressed by Richard Rogers’ simple light and airy design, with stunning views across the Bay. And in its context, next to the Millennium Centre Opera House and the Victorian Pier head building, it looks great. It’s built with sustainability in mind, and heated by geothermal energy. Expensive? Sure thing, but worth it, to have a striking building that really makes an effort to embody the values of a participatory democracy. I hope Her Majesty was pleased with the building.

Quite apart from the Queen’s visit, it was also a big day for the Army, to mark the merger of the Royal Welch Fusiliers, The Royal Regiment of Wales and The Royal Welsh Regiment into one new body to be called the Royal Welsh. A drumhead service of dedication had been planned to take place close the new Senedd building in the Oval Basin, a much used open air arena made from in a filled-in dock. However, uncertain weather predictions required a fallback venue be organised. At the end of last week I was contacted by the County protocol office to ask if St John’s could be used. I met with the officers charged with organising the service, and they made their preparations. Then, the day before, I received a phone call to say that the Army had been offered free use of St David’s Hall for the event – in fact, a much better option because it can seat four or five times what St John’s can contain.

Much appreciation was expressed for our readiness to assist and I was invited to attend the ceremony and the Civic lunch and tea that went with it. Since it was Ash Wednesday, I declined, but went to watch the Mayor and the Colonel of the new regiment take the salute at the first march-past of the combined forces after a quick snack lunch at home, before going on to share with Jenny in doing an Ash Wednesday service for the children of Tredegarville school.

Preparing for this school service necessitated me going down to the church late Tuesday evening, and setting out seating, moveable pews and stacking chairs to accommodate 250 people, single-handed. Not much fun, but there aren’t any able bodied people to call upon to do such vital caretaking operations. Two days later, I am still stiff from humping heavy pews around. It’s cheaper than going to the gym, I suppose.

The children were all a bit high from the snow, and from having their traditional St David’s day school Eisteddfod that morning. (not even the school seemed to care that the Church in Wales had transferred St David to the next day). However they sang the few familiar songs we used very cheerily, and were very attentive for Jenny’s story. Such a pleasure to see their bemused faces when signing their heads with a cross in ashes. They take it on trust, but whether they really understand what it’s all about apart from it being something special we do on this day, I have my doubts, despite Jenny’s outstandingly accessible way of speaking about the importance of this first day of Lent.

We finished just in time to allow me to get a lift over to St David’s Hall for the re-located drumhead service. However, Jenny’s car was blocked in by a van whose owner was nowhere to be found, and I was obliged to jog the three quarters of a mile to the St David’s Hall instead and got there breathless, just before the service started. Not bad, considering I am still limping from an ankle injury back in January.

The drumhead service was a impressive display of military ceremony and formal Establishment type worship, diplomatically put together. The chaplain general preached and said all the expected things, although it was notable that he emphasised the importance of the moral struggle, and higher values in the complex scenarios presented to modern soldiery. The Colonel also spoke very well. It was a bit like having two sermons. All the soldiers of the regiments were there, plus families and friends and members of veterans associations. A real family gathering, followed by a bun fight and beer for the troops in City Hall.

After the service, I made my way home, and finished my preparation for a short PCC meeting later on. Then it was back down to City Hall for a Conservation Advisory Group meeting at 6.15 in a committee room, with the background sound of revelling squaddies finishing off their little tea party. There’s was lots on the agenda but we got through it all in just and hour, which meant I was able to get up to Saint Michael’s for the Parish Ash Wednesday Eucharist and Ashing ceremony in good time.

The heating hadn’t switched on, the church was cold, so worship had a brisk pace about it – just as well with a PCC meeting to finish the day. We gave ourselves half an hour, and dealt with just one item of business properly, and I was home by ten past nine, finally to eat my evening meal cold.

An unusually full day, capped by the pleasure of a full page of pictures and story about the restoration of several stained glass windows at St John’s, which have been boarded up due to vandalism since last June. Haskins’ the glaziers from Kingswood, Bristol took a couple of buckets loads of glass fragments away in the middle of last June, and eight months later, here they are again, good as new. What skill! The first window was re-installed last Thursday, and the second on Tuesday. Monday evening I phoned Lauren Turner at the South Wales Echo, who did a good report on the vandalism, and told her the good news. She did an excellent job, not only celebrating the glazier’s art and craft, but plugging the fact that we are now fundraising for new window guards.

Night time economy and Christian presence

Today, the city centre management hosted a meeting of people interested in the issue of community safety and the night time economy in Cardiff – club owners, social workers, police, loca government officials and others – to hear a presentation given by Sister Wendy Sanderson, the Church Army Evangelist who is licensed by the Bishop to work in the city centre’s clubland, ministering among the staff and 70,000 nightime revellers who descend upon the city at weekends.

Officially, Wendy is a member of Central Cardiff Team Ministry, but the life of the Parish, even one as unusual and varied as ours, is so remote from the cultural and social life of clubland, that it’s difficult to inagine how they may connect. Wendy’s weekend work is mostly at night, and this precludes her from worshipping with morning time congregations. She lives in a neighbouring Parish, and worships there as and when she can, and draws her inner resources from being part of the community of the Church Army, which is the founding sponsor of this outreach project.

She’s been working in the city centre for over two years now. I have been involved in the diocesan group that oversees her work, and we have met from time to time at church conferences and meetings. I had no expectation it would be otherwise, and was determined not to make demands that drew her back from the diffficult challenge she faces. I made it clear that whatever useful support I could offer was there for the asking.

In her second year, the Church Army, facing its own financial difficulties began to put pressure on Wendy and her team to fund-raise for their own work. Not an easy task, even when you have access to a media relations office, and get a fair amount of press and TV coverage about the night time economy. One concern emanating from a long period of listening to clubbers was about the vulnerability of clubbers at the end of a night of partying, drunk, tired, needing to get home, finding taxis hard to come by, and at risk from being picked up by predators masquerading as taxi drivers. Wendy had the idea of opening a night time refuge where people could wait safely, have a cup of coffee, and if needed talk through problems with a friendly volunteer. Great idea, but where to start?

She came and discussed this with St John’s church committee, with a view to using church facilities, but it soon became clear there were too many risks and difficulties attached to opening St John’s at night from the standpoint of public safety. However, when she realised the Church Tea Room had two days a week when it didn’t open for lack of volunteers, she suggested taking on doing one of the days with her team. They did a few sessions of training with other teams and then got stuck in, raising funds for their own work, and evidently enjoying being part of such a successful little enterprise. In fact the extra day a week seems to have helped increase customer flow through the week. We only have Mondays to fill now.

When it was realised that St John’s wouldn’t work as a night-time post-clubbing venue, an approach was made to Ebenser Welsh Independent Church in Charles Street, opposite St David’s Cathedral, which has an unused basement, accessible from street level. After some deliberation the congregation there has agreed to welcome the initiative in their premesis. The Club Network team want to start with running a café there on Friday lunchtimes to promote their night-time presence and reach office workers in town who are likley to return later for a night out. Which brings us to the point of the meeting with all the stakeholders in the night time economy.

Wendy’s presentation was designed to solicit their comments and possible support for development. Her ideas were responded to with both interest and caution. She did particularly well, with both an unknown audience, and her new boss present, meeting her on the ground for the first time. It was clear she had identified concerns which they all shared, but had so far not addressed. There are also potential safety problems about the Ebeneser site. It’s quite a way to talk from the epicentre of clubland in St Mary Street. Aware of this Wendy has long wondered about alternative places for a refuge, but now for the first time was in the company of people who could brainstorm from practical experience about possibilities, and talk to her about accessing public funds interested in the aims of her project.

Because of a flat bike tyre and a chaotic start to my day, I turned up late and had to leave early to celebrate the midday Eucharist. Fortunately, I didn’t have anything to contribute to the meeting, except personal support. My co-worker Ian had done the ground work, made the introductions to the City Centre management team, and it all flowed from there. It makes me think that our city centre mission is really turning a corner. A real cause for thanksgiving.

My only observation after the meeting was the extent to which so many of the stakeholders in the meeting were saying in effect : “This city is unsafe in the wee small hours of the morning”. Doubtless someone may eventually pick up my thoughts and try to sensationalise them, and others may say “You shouldn’t write things like that because it’s bad for Cardiff, bad for business.” Well, it’s the business ambitions of a variety of entrepreneurs that have made the city centre into a night-time playground that excludes large sectors of the population who are too old, or can’t afford to stay out late and get drunk. It has created huge public order problems for others to manage. None of this development was ever ‘planned’, nor put through any public consultation process as the re-development of a third of the city’s heart as a new cathedral of commerce was ‘planned’.

The night time economy has just emerged, and is a reflection of contemporary consumer culture and its degree of prosperity. It’s a bubble which any prolonged period of recession would burst. Meanwhile, coping with the fall-out of success is a formidable challenge for public services and policing. And, it has been met so superbly, that other cities grappling with the problems of the night time economy are regarding Cardiff’s operation as a best practice role model. In the midst of all this Sister Wendy’s little band is a quiet voice of conscience and compassion on behalf of visitors who aren’t as aware as they should how to be street-wise.

Cities around the world are moving towards a 24 hour seven day a week level of economic activity in this time of unprecedented rapid change, dominated by the opportunities of global communications technology. Is it universally sustainable? Is there a potential for serious damage to personal and social health, let alone economic health, as a result of this relentless pace and lack of rhythm that permits activity and passivity, regard for times and seasons, so much part and parcel of our evolution so far?

Cities are unsafe at night because their essential functioning has not yet begun to be planned for on a twenty four hour, seven days a week basis. We are still far from running society in a way that makes no difference between night and day, although night-time is now commercially exploitable. It we did this it would have to be done differently from what is presently done - which is a concerted effort to try and minimise the impact and the risk to people who are active when the majority of society is at rest. Will this present development continue indefinitely, through boom and bust? We don’t know. We don’t yet have any answers, perhaps because we’re no longer sure that we are asking the right questions about what it means to be human in the electronic age.

Food matters

With Clare, my wife being away for the weekend, I was charged with shopping for our weekly consignment of organic vegetables from the (BBC Food program award winning) Riverside Sunday market, on the bank of the Taff opposite the Millennium Stadium. This week, I didn’t have three straight services to do on Sunday morning, so when I’d finished over at St John’s, I rode over on my bike, and joined the other browsers in the dank drizzly air, queuing sociably to be served with muddy carrots and parsnips, and Brussels sprouts still on the stalk. It’s no frills shopping, but the quality is just great. There’s also a fascinating range of local indigenous cheeses, sausages, preserved meats, different kinds of home made bread, and I couldn’t help noticing there was packaged venison, and wild boar meat products also on sale. The kind of things you really have to hunt for in Tesco’s. It’s pleasing to think that such markets make it worthwhile for farmers to continue producing high quality food products.

One problem of having so much manufactured food produced and distributed by the big supermarket chains on a large industrial scale is that it drives prices down, not only making it harder for primary producers to earn a living, but making it easier for people to buy more, and eat more than they need. Then they have weight control problems and obesity is denounced as a major public health crisis. Learning to eat less, and making sure what’s eaten is of better quality is quite a challenge. It means learning to limit our habitual choice of food, and not being bamboozled into trying everything promoted with enthusiasm and fancy packaging in the endless aisles of the superstores. It also means restoring the old notion of having a treat to those rare occasional moments of enjoying something new or different, rather than a treat being, as it often appears, an alibi for repeated self-indulgence.

The changing face of information

Retail Partnership thinks strategic
Tuesday last, the city centre retail partnership board met for the first time since the transfer of city centre management activities to City Council. Not a lot was said about what the team had been through - everyone present knew the score and took it in their stride, since it had been 'business as usual' despite the boardroom drama. The meeting returned to reflect on key issues for the retail partnership to engage in actively, a process begun 18 months ago.
Top of the list is the St David's centre phase two development - how to keep the city running successfully during the next three years of daily building-site type disruptions? Tied in with this is the question of public transport and parking, finding new ways to get shoppers in, as building activity deters them from trying. The city's Park and Ride scheme has grown considerably in popularity over the past few years, but the overall proportion of scheme users is only a fifth of those driving into town. Problems of access to the city by car, and traffic congestion due to poor infrastructure are already shown to be strangling the growth of city's competitiveness. Advocacy for improving city access is central to its traders' interests. Directly connected with this is marketing the city, as a desirable place for shopping, business and leisure.
Louise Prynne, one of the city's chief marketing officers was at the meeting to promote the coming year's city sponsored events. She mentioned in passing that building a City Centre Retail Partnership website was now under consideration. This was an idea I had put to Paul the city centre manager, just before the big crisis struck. Creating an service to promote the commercial life of city centre, and inform the public of access problems, sudden crises and accidents, special arrangements for big events, major sales promotions and so on, news of redevelopment progress, all this independent of mainstream media, and more quickly up to date, if the technology was right, would go a long way towards addressing the strategic aims articulated. When I expressed my delight that City admin. was thinking in these terms, Paul graciously inferred that my enthusiasm for the idea was infectious.

Broadening information horizons
Today, I met with my new co-worker Ian and his brother Glyn, who works on using mobile phone messaging technology as a marketing device, for an informal discussion, stimulated by Ian and Glyn talking about the information challenges coming at us fast over the event horizon.
I'm not big on everyday mobile phone uses other than urgent texts and calls, so it wouldn't occur to me to invest in using this medium as an information service, though evidently lots of people are prepared to pay for information they need delivered to them, to save them finding it out.
When Glyn explained what's now possible I began to see that a Retail Partnership website is but the tip of an information iceberg. Ten times as many people use mobile phones as use computers. Mobile phones can now be used to access the internet. All sorts of personalised services can be designed around the needs of mobile phone users. e.g. weather for outdoor sports fans, localised traffic conditions for delivery drivers, special offers for shoppers. With sat-nav capabilties in 'phones, such information services could be triggered by proximity to the place where the information is relevant. Wow! This isn't Star Trek fantasy, but stuff already possible. Glyn is an enthusiastic advocate, and doesn't talk mumbo-jumbo. So there are now interesting possibilities I didn't know existed on Tuesday last, for an integrated information service embracing the Web, telephones, public video access points all according to the identified needs of users.
Yes, there are possibilities for abusive exploitation, but what strikes me is that all new information systems rely primarily on trust and co-operation. Security precautions are necessary to avoid abuse, but they are secondary. Desire to communicate, to work together for mutual benefit is fundamental. Things that compromise or exploit that desire unjustly are merely parasitic - nothing that cannot be managed by healthy bodies.

Living with the Blogosphere
I feel I am learning new things about the 'information society', both from professional and pastoral encounters and from my rather geeky reading of newsfeeds and blogs. One day, one day I'll settle down and try to do some proper theological and spiritual reflection on all this.
Despite all the horrible things going on in the world the number of people working together and working honestly and hard for the common good far outweighs the number of villains and parasites, and just possibly more so than at any other time in history.
We have the means to sound out each other around the world and come to a common mind on profound and significant issues, before traditional journos and politicians wake up. Both classes of power-mongers are finding that they need to look at the blogs that concern their concerns before opening their mouths or putting pen to paper. Yes, it all happens very fast, too fast for proper reflection and consideration, far too often. It's a new challenge to our spiritual maturity, not to be rushed early into judgement, to debate openly, fearlessly. As Bill Thompson said in a recent article on the BEEB's website, (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/4747818.stm) blogging is changing the boundaries between the public and the private.
He states that when things are said in cyberspace the speaker is accountable not just to their desired audience, but potentially to the whole world. All desires are known, no secrets are hidden, for better or worse in the so-called 'blogosphere'. Fair enough. But in this new manifestation of the 'global village' there is nothing remotely like being silent in public, where one's silence is the statement. I have in mind a picture of Jesus confronted with the woman taken in adultery and her accusers doodling in the sand and saying nothing while the stone throwers lose their murderous zeal.
It is comment and dialogue that goes a long way towards debate that empowers people. Would that church folk would take this possiblility more seriously, and not fear it, since we are supposed to believe Jesus' words "The truth will set you free."
Yes these are very important influential developments in human communication, but they are not all. There are still things better left unsaid, moments when silence is the appropriate response. In the real world, this is easily understood. For years, I did telephone counselling, and a lot of the work done between client and listener was done in the silences which added meaning to what was said. Unadorned text, even text with 'emoticons' (awful word with trivial content), can hardly achieve what the voice can.
But then, we're not far off from an abundance of computing power that feely offers an alternative - write or speak your blog, see or hear it instantly, so that anyone can listen or re-read and evaluate your thought as easily as you expressed it, as if they were in the same room as you irrespective of the displacement of time. Almost as if they were inside your head ....
That's the point at which the inner will, spiritual disicipline, discernment, whatever you call it, is vital to enable us to retain our integrity. OK, we can run away and hide in a corner, and sometimes that's just what we need to do, but we can't keep on running and hiding, or we become slaves to our fear. It's truth, explored and discovered in the revelation that comes through dialogue that sets us free.

Swings of the pendulum

Yesterday, I had a visit from Alison Bunyan, British Telecom's PR manager for Wales. She was responsible for the campaign surrounding the installation of the St John's wireless internet access point last summer. She brought a colleague with her from North Wales, who is interested in developing a link between a similar wireless acess point installed in a public telephone box, and the chapel it is located next to. He hadn't yet approached the church's leadership, but was looking for some angles of approach. It seems the church in question has some young people's activity on a regular basis, so if that's the case, the potential is enormous - well, the kids will see it before the adults will, no doubt.
In missionary thinking, back in the seventies, we used to speak a lot about 'the world dictating the agenda', meaning that mission is a purposeful response to what is happening in society. It was necessary to emphasise this at a time when many churches, even whole denominations found it difficult to engage in any way with modernity. It's far from being the whole picture, as we discovered. If Christians only respond to what is going on around them and do not listen to what is going on within themselves, they are in danger of being nothing other that social and political activists.
Christians contribute to the human social agenda as well as respond to its challenges. Telling the story of Jesus and the church, in advocacy of the unique model of humanity and relationship, which is the Body of Christ, is at the heart of their reason for being. Spirituality and prayer centred life in relation to God, cultivated as a way of being and becoming authentically human is equally an essential agenda item which the church proposes to the world. Maintaining the balance between right response to the world, evangelism and spirituality is always challenging because life is constantly changing. So, we have this tendency, like a pendulum to oscillate between extremes - being totally outward and other centred or totally inward and disregarding of what goes on around us. It's interesting to observe that the 9th General Assembly of the World Council of Churches taking place in Puerto Alegre Argentina in the coming week is focussing on the renewal of ecumenical spirituality, after several decades of engagement with many of the great social challenges of the age, in a way that, to the casual observer might make it appear to be like a religious version of the United Nations. A closer look would always reveal a considerable amount of deep theological reflection and spiritual thinking, but now this seems to be ascending in priority - as it should, given that it is what religious communities uniquely have to contribute to the world health and peace.

Making the future our business

It's ten days since Archbishop Barry came to the Deanery Clergy chapter to explain how the reduction of clergy numbers across the Church in Wales is being tackled, and how this affects Cardiff. In several years time there will only be 13 full time posts for twenty odd parishes. Nobody is happy about this, but we don’t see to be able to agree thow we might transform this problem into an opportunity to renew the churches’ mission across the eastern half of the city. So few clergy seemed to have anything fresh to contribute to the discussion. Jenny was outspoken in expressing her frustration at being stuck with things that divide us – chiefly ministry of women, but also clerical territorialism. Thinking seems inhibited by expectations based on how things were rather than how they are. If good things happen it is despite the past not because of it, and that makes me sad, because the wonderful missionary enterprise of our forebears in no less difficult circumstances than ours, is like a reproach to us.
Maybe if clerics were all voluntary and unpaid, like the laity, we’d look at things differently. But as it is, clergy have vested interests to preserve - tied houses, salaries, pensions. Yet it’s clear these things are coming to an end, because in the long run the present economy of the church is unsustainable. Our parish is only able to meet its financial obligations towards clergy pay (it nearly failed last year) if it disposes of two houses it part owns and maintains for assistant clergy we can no longer afford. We’ve been warned that this seriously compromises future provision for full-time ministry, but for us, the future is already with us.
We are fortunate that Jenny lives in her Minister husband’s Manse, so that her accommodation needs don’t add to the current financial worries of the parish. We are a year overdue in receiving a response to my urgent request for a diocesan review of the role of St John’s in the life of the city and diocese, having already warned that it has turned from being a financial power house for the parish into a needy creature, struggling to pay its way, because of the sheer size of its running costs, and the demands of being such a public building. Without the work of oue tea-room volunteers the churhc would have had to close years ago. But it remains open and exercising a vital ministry of hospitality and care in town, enjoyed by people from all over the diocese. We have development plans, but nobody really seems interested is listening to what we have to say. Which is sad, because we need the challenge, we need a critique of our vision to strengthen it.
Regardless of this, we won’t stop looking to the future. How we manage in seven years time with much less clergy is not nearly as interesting to consider as the question of how St John’s will fare as a place of Christian mission in 2020, or 2050. We’re going to start planning an investment in geothermal energy to heat churches, given that solar panels will be rejected as unaesthetic by building conservationists. It’s hugely expensive now, but the Welsh Assembly’s new building down the Bay has set a good example by going geothermal. I’d like to see our big churches go the same way. The capital outlay is frighteningly huge, but the soaring costs of other forms of energy could become a decisive factor in whether or not keeping such a large public building open is sustainable for use, whether run by the Church in Wales or surrendered to others.
Our Tea-Room facilities are inadequate for their purpose, and it’s a triumph of popular demand over inconvenience that it is such a success. We’d like to remove the vestry block entirely, and re-partition the South aisle, retaining the St John chapel and using glazing with toilets, kitchens and restaurant facilities on the ground floor, topped by an upper storey containing vestry and storage areas. It would cost millions, no doubt, because of the problems of demolition, and protecting all the older features of the building. Yet, if that were to be undertaken, it would transform the building, enhancing it and making it more functional as a place of hospitality and worship.
Looking back over the past few years, it’s clear there are an abundance of ways in which the building can serve the people of Cardiff, and retain a role as the warm prayerful heart of the city where all are welcomed. It’s a huge amount of work though, and those with the vision and the heart cannot do this on their own. Nothing will prevent them from making the first steps, alone if necessary. There’s no standing still when our hearts are fixed on ensuring St John's remains a key asset to city centre mission for generations to come, and we believe this is what God challenges us to do.

Death of an Initiative

During this week, the city quietly weathered a potentially serious crisis. Undisclosed financial problems caused the Cardiff Chamber of Commerce to shut down the operations of Cardiff Initiative, a company run in partnership with the Council, which runs the tourist enquiry offices, hotel booking systems, marketing and promotion of Cardiff as an international venue for sport, tourism and business, also the city centre management team. Thirty five staff were simply sent home on Friday evening, informed without ceremony by their CEO, Russell Goodway, former city Council leader, that the operation was being shut down and all were being made redundant. In effect they were shut out of their workplace - a decision to which the city centre manager Paul Williams took strong exception.
While he was absent from his office attending the meeting, all the computer equipment his team relied upon for their everyday work in keeping the city's commerce and streets humming smoothly was removed.. But that didn't stop them turning up and carrying on as usual, using their own personal equipment. Paul defied Goodway. "I'm not staying home", he told him, "I have a duty to this city, and it'll be business as usual no matter what you say." He was not alone in thinking that the way in which this affair had been handled was inappropriate and damaging to a successful enterprise. Financial problems in business organisations are not unusual when there have been large un-anticipated funding cuts. Senior management is there to defend their organisation, by every means possible other than dismantling. Admittedly nobody knows what went on the the background beforehand, the staff didn't. The idea that they might have been able to participate in tackling difficulties, rather than treating them as disposable commodities fails to commend Goodway's management style.
The Monday morning after, the Council's executive leadership team met with Initiative staff, re-engaged them all temporarily and re-deployed various parts of the operation in City Hall or the Bay. A new body is to be created to generate financial support for this work which essential to the success of Cardiff's hotels and businesses. The city centre management team are still in their offices, waiting for new computer equipment to be delivered, and getting used to the ramifications of being Council employees, at least for the next few months. I sincerely hope that Paul and his team's loyalty to the City is noticed and honoured. He has, of course, made himself vulnerable to vendetta should there be another change of political régime in the next decade. Let's just hope that Cardiffians will regard as un-electable anyone prepared to show inhumanity and ruthlessness in exercising public office.

Thinking about Partnership

Last week also, the day 'God on Mondays' restarted, while all the crisis of Cardiff Initiative's demise was being played out, I was due for a meeting with the City's Chief Executive, Byron Davies and several of his colleagues, to discuss issues about religious comunities' participation in planning consultations. On the day he stood me up, as he had another engagement with Welsh Assembly officers, but as I was aware of all those other things going on about which little was being publicly said, I wasn't miffed. In fact, I had a very worthwhile meeting with one of the County’s senior cabinet officers, Emyr Evans who takes the lead in matters of community planning and he would have been there anyway.
After several years of nagging from me, city officials are privately admitting there are flaws in the engagement of religious communities in city development planning, shaping our social future, and this is now being acknowledged as a weakness. We pored over detailed survey reports on community facilities together, and could see that although religious communities were indeed providing services to their localities, there was no specific data on all the city’s hundreds of churches and prayer halls, and no way of assessing the scale of their social contribution, except for big educational stakeholders like the Church in Wales and the Roman Catholic Church.
If there’s no social mapping that recognises the contribution of religious communities, nobody thinks to include them, or to consider what they offer and ask how this could be made better use of, how working together on social projects could be improved, all of which is easier when there is information to hand. I’m hoping that this will lead to some research whose fruit will be more positive engagement of religious communities by the City and County in its planning.
This meeting was intended also to address difficulties of local businesses in the neighbourhood of St John’s church, due to proposed new parking restrictions. It was only touched upon as part of a preview of proposals for new transportation infrastructure in the city centre zone, still being worked out, not yet fully tested against reality. Public meetings on this are supposed to happen in March, so it wasn't possible to go into those problems in any detail, except to point out that the process of consultation about changing regulations affecting many people's lives and work had become disjointed.
Almost a week after this meeting, a repeat traffic closure order notice went up on half a dozen lamp posts around St John's and the Hayes, repeating what was issued on Jan 11, giving objectors until March 2 to act. Neither I, nor anybody I’ve spoken to has had their objections to the traffic order acknowledged, so we don’t know if we have to object again on a monthly basis, to fend off the unacceptable closures, or whether this merely extends consultation time.
Perhaps the officers involved in this believe that every citizen should know the procedures of the Town and Country Planning Act by heart, as well as patrol the streets reading the small print of notices attached to lamp-posts to ensure that democracy is upheld. Or have they a right we don’t know about, to try and slip controversial impositons through while Mr Average is inattentive? Running a city and getting it right is a huge and complex task, and when you look at it closely it seems as if many components have a life of their own, and don't find communicating with other components, and harmonising actions something that comes naturally. It requires determined political leadership and vision to oblige and enthuse everyone to work together despite their differences. It also requires re-education to move people towards co-operation as a modus vivendi, rather than competition. And anything said here about a city can equally be applied to the church, within denominations and between them.

Beginnings and ends

‘God on Mondays’ Part two
Last week at St James' church we re-launched our informal worship and teaching session for Tredegarville school children, their parents and staff. It’s pleasing that post-Christmas, people still want to come along. Jenny and I are encouraged to plan now for a further series, throughout Lent. It’s a slow task, getting to know those who come, and building up relationships. We’ve got members of the regular congregation supporting us with gifts of food for the refreshments with which we welcome the congregation after school finishes, and one or two of the parents are bringing things as well. Though we haven’t included the ritual of taking a collection in the service, we get asked about it, and now a styrofoam cup has appeared with Donations scribbled on the side, and money is given. The only hassle we have is arriving to find the church car park blocked up with unauthorised vehicles from the building site next door. So, we block them in and go about our business, only to see a worried face in work clothes appear when we are in full flow, anxious to get out. We make them wait until we’ve finished. There’s plenty of alternative parking 200 yards away they can pay for, and those creating the jam in our parking lot aren’t paying either. Serves them right for taking advantage.

A community remembers
At St John’s we’ve had two big memorial services and a large funeral in the course of a week. The first memorial service was for Roger Morgan a former Bristol Channel pilot, described by everyone as a larger than life character. After a life on the ocean, he retired to the high plateau south of Madrid, as far as he could get from water, cold and fog, and thee he died three years later. There were 250 people in church from the maritime community, some from the USA, one from Sweden, and all around Britain. The singing was lusty, and his larger than life son gave a hilarious tribute to his father, ending with a minute’s applause and three cheers. It was quite uplifting. I couldn’t resist using the Psalm 107 passage about those who go down to the sea in ships and brave the storms, and the Gospel of Jesus stilling the storm. It struck me how often in rough coastal waters, ships crews unfamiliar with the area must be swamped with terror, and look to the ship’s pilot for reassurance, just as the disciples looked to Jesus. The engagement of trust runs right through our lives, and those who are trustworthy honoured by those who depend upon them. Even though we live in a climate of distrust, bred by security preoccupations of the ‘war on terror’ (ridiculous non sequitor) we cannot survive unless there are people we can trust, and unless there are areas of our lives where trust can be built and rebuilt in the light of our failures.

Another community remembers
Our second memorial service, at noon on Sunday, was for the Royal British Legion (of which I am county chaplain) to honour the memory of Major Bernard Schwartz, an outstanding Cardiffian in every sense, who had led the Armistice Day veterans’ parade annually for over 50 years, immaculate always in pinstripe suit, bow tie and a characteristic brown bowler hat, with furled umbrella. I was delighted to see his successor as parade marshal turn up in Bernard’s bowler hat – a bequest from the family. His hat goes marching on. He had been a succesful local businessman, and president of the Synagogue, as well as being active in the RBL’s fundraising. He ended his war as the only Jewish officer serving in the Arab league in the Middle East. Extraordinary. Two hundred people turned up including a couple of dozen family and synagogue members. Devising the service was an interesting challenge. But with the Psalms and the Scriptures of the Old Testament to draw from, and a few theistic hymns, it was possible to offer a celebration that respected Bernard’s tradition and Christian tradition. I used a Jewish mourners’ prayer and the Aaronic blessing, and just before the service, had the inspiration to put out our seven branched candelabra (a gift from a young Indian Christian computer programmer who worshipped with us while he was seconded to Cardifffor two years). I lit it with a Blessing of the Light at the start of the service. The current Synagogue president, Alan Schwartz rushed up to me after the Legion’s flags had been paraded out of church and shook my hand warmly with congratulation for such an appropriate form of service. That meant a lot to me. So much of what I get to do on occasions like this is highly conventional. Indeed, there's a book of ceremonial prescribed for British Legion events. It's taken seriously and done well. For once, the person and the occasion were unconventional and that enabled me to risk doing things just a bit differently. I was pleased that everyone seemed pleased with the worship as well as the ceremonial

Yet another community remembers
The week ended with the funeral of Doug Langley who had been prominent and active as a member of the Welsh Football Association, and also former organist of St Michael’s in our Parish. So this time it was the footballing fraternity gathering in remembrance, 150 of them. David Collins, General Secretary, of W.F.A gave a eulogy, which again described one of these towering energetic characters who touch so many different lives with their inspiration and leadership. He began his speech ‘In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen’ which surprised me. I’d never heard that before in a eulogy. He ended saying : ‘May he rest in peace and rise in glory.’ and was very confident in his use of these words – confident in his own faith, I suspect, as he was confident in speaking about the deceased’s faith in young people.
Reflecting on these three different events, I was struck yet again by how few people attending I recognised, with the exception of British Legion officials and members that I see at a variety of different events throughout the year. The role of a city church is to be a gathering point for celebrations that bring people together from far and wide. It could easily be as impersonal as a crematorium, but it isn’t because, at least in our era, a great many people have some thread of their personal histories that connects with this particular church, from the days when the centre was populous,and huge numbers of people came for weddings, baptisms and funerals. In another generation, those links will have mostly withered away, and people’s sense of identification and belonging will be far weaker, if it exists at all. I get calls from researchers into family history, keen to piece together the story of those who’ve before them, in their own attempt to work out where they fit in the scheme of human existence. The pattern of data will look very different in the future, much more complex, now that family life is far less stable and more fragmented, people are more mobile and the record of their presence in the community, of which the church has been a custodian for five centuries or so, growing more patchy as religious identity ceases to be a connecting feature of the heart of our culture

Another apology

Well, I’ve spent ten days wondering why I bother expending creative energy on this journal, risking the possibility of offending people I hold in high esteem and affection. It’s been hard to keep quiet because these have been interesting days, not least because of those in the news who ‘publish and be damned’, and succeed making things worse for the world.

Danger lurks in instant electronic media of disconnecting yourself from the consequences of your output, of forgetting the importance of discretion and respect, for retaining full humanity and not being destructive towards others. There are things that are better left unsaid, and there is also a time to voice issues of concern even though the impact will be painful, misunderstood and provoke a negative reaction.

Disciplining oneself to take time for discernment of what needs to be said is essential when means of communication are so instant and impersonal. Religion like sexuality is an area where everyone is vulnerable, sensitive, defensive. Both are areas where the search for truth must be pursued, however difficult. It’s worth the time and effort taken to say only what really needs to be said, no matter what pressures are on us to react instananeously.

It would be possible to take refuge in silence, (on the grounds that in the realm of the ‘powers that be’ nothing I have to say makes any difference to what happens), or just to keep diary thoughts to myself (to be used only by my heirs for entertainment when I am beyond influencing things). I have journalled privately in appalling longhand during significant periods of my life, also during travels and retreats. This helped me sort myself out, give account of myself to myself, as I prepared to open up to another. No need to publish any of that, apart from the odd worthy poem or prayer - if I ever get around to doing so. When I started this blog, what was different about writing it was giving account of my thoughts in public, irrespective of who might read it, for good or ill. Some who write blogs do so because they have a political or commercial axe to grind, and an audience willing to trawl their thoughts for news. That's not my intention.

Publishing thoughts about being a pastor in a church enduring crisis, for better and worse, isn’t newsworthy. This is not about My Truth. It’s my story, I'm not ashamed of it. However flawed, it's an offering in witness to the One whose truth is a light shining in the mess and darkness of this world.

Even if nobody reads what I write, writing as if all the world heeds my every word is a discipline and a challenge to do what is right and good and true. There’s no guarantee I'll succeed, but I hope it is possible to learn from my mistakes. How much dare I speak of the search for truth that embraces darkness and light as anambassador of Christian faith in a world that seems more interested in darkness than light? What does it mean for me to be guided by discretion and respect for others, wanting to tell it the way it really is, so that all can hear and respect the real struggle for life in today’s church? Somewhere in these questions the ancient struggle to overcome the passions and live for God is still hidden.

Bear with me – I have more to tell about everyday events at the Edge of the Centre. Keep watching this space.

Sorry

It wasn't my intention to offend esteemed colleagues with comments made in a previous posting (now removed). Nothing personal intended. As pastors, we are living in tough times, and I try to express some of the pain and frustration that goes with this, in search of the truth that sets us free.
I remain convinced that God is out there somewhere. Even if I fail to comprehend where and how, the search for God through all the messiness of life goes on. The trouble with therapeutic writing is - what you feel does you good to state isn't necessarily good in the eyes of others. When you fail to communicate, you have two options - you shut up and say nothing, or think hard and try again.

Either way, there's going to be a pause for while, while I make up my mind what to do.

Déja-vue

More restrictions declared

In my post of December 11^th, I reported how a decision to impose traffic restrictions on the streets close to St John’s was communicated by the attaching of a single A4 sheet announcement to the church railings. Well, things have improved. Six single sheet A4 announcements have now been affixed to that number of lamp posts – three on the north side of the church between it and the Owain Glyndwr pub, and three the other side of the old library, a hundred and fifty yards away. This declares the intention of closing the adjacent streets to traffic from ten in the morning until midnight, a measure that could have a serious impact on evening activities at church, and on the trade done by local restaurants and pubs. So, I took down one of the notices and showed it to Kieran, who runs the excellent print shop in Church Street. He ran off some copies of the legal notice, and we devised a message to go on the back of it that could then be circulated to business most affected by this proposal, and I took copies around to a dozen or so local establishments. Needless to say, only two of a dozen businesses were aware of what was to happen in any detail. We’re going to try and organise a local traders meeting to consider a critical response to the Council in the next few days.

Protest, but probably in vain
When I talked later to Paul, the city centre manager, he seemed to think that implementation of the order was inevitable as this would bring it into line with nearby Queen Street, which is mostly shops, with few pubs and restaurants open evenings. They cope with restrictions, why not our small side-streets? Well, our little quarter of town has more small businesses, more to lose by access restrictions for their clientele. Our little quarter gives out on to St Mary Street, one of the town’s busiest thoroughfares. Traffic congestion from delivery vehicles in the streets is bad enough already with a road closure time of 11.00am. Move that to 10.00am and deliveries all have to enter and leave the centre earlier, adding to morning rush hour chaos, with large lorries entering and leaving the main traffic stream. Existing cramped conditions of access are about to become a stranglehold. It will not do our little quarter any good. And it will mean that those who have to manage traffic will have to work harder coping with all the special case permissions from people who need to come and go within the restricted times. Will it actually be enforceable? We’ll see. I’ve just finished writing, and have emailed objections to the scheme to the Chief Legal Officer of the County’s office, knowing that the protest will most likely fall on deaf ears.

Dependable evolution or risky revolution?
The Grand Plan for the re-ordering and development of the city centre, of which these traffic rearrangements are part, has been put into place more by determined promotion than by adequate consultation, whatever efforts politicians and local government officers think they have made. It’s not easy to ensure everyone is in the picture and shares in the debate. It’s the biggest challenge of any society, not to alienate citizens, but to succeed in hearing and responding to their concerns. Our church neighbours at Tabernacl Baptist will suffer badly when the SDII centre is up and running and they can’t get proper access to their building. I suppose those in power think of what they impose on others as ‘leadership’. They’ll be praised and thanked if such massive costly initiatives finally work, but with the changing economic climate, the risks taken in such a huge project may not be justifiable. We could end up with an under-used and under performing shopping centre, oversized for what it can achieve in the light of competition from the out of town shopping centres springing up everywhere across the region. Nobody wants that. It’s such a pity that a more evolutionary and adaptative approach to redeveloping the city centre wasn’t taken, as opposed to a vastly ambitious ‘quantum leap’ project, affecting so many people – as did the SDI development thirty years ago which emptied the city centre of its ‘urban village’ population. It’s a pity so little attention has been paid to improving the road system to handle the flows of traffic for big events, and for shopping access. No matter how wonderful the imposed future of shopping in Cardiff is likely to be, it’ll be bleak if people can’t get in to where they need to be to shop, eat, drink, be entertained. The poverty of road infrastructure is a kind of symbol of the poverty of communications at many levels in this situation.

Time out

Change of scene
I’ve been on holiday for ten days, and before that, spent a week using the computer sparingly. I’m sitting writing this on a Mac, which is different for a start, looking out on a snowy landscape in a suburb near Geneva airport, where I’ll catch the ‘plane home in the morning. It’s been a time of catching up with old friends, and doing some cross-country ski-ing with Valdo, my Swiss pastor friend up in the Jura, in near perfect weather and snow conditions.

One of my adult confirmands of ten years ago in the time when I worked as a pastor in Geneva is going to be made Deacon this coming Summer, a cause of great delight to me. It’s a pity both the Bishops of the diocese do not ordain women, and will probably get an outsider in to ordain. Whether this is out of deference to the majority Catholic and Orthodox church communities, or personal conviction, I don’t know. It’s an extraordinary situation when all of the five candidates to be presented on this occasion are women. Maybe God is trying to tell them something.

Growth in the midst of decline
Church life thrives among Anglophone ex-patriates, not only in the ecumincal and international city of Geneva, but around the whole of Lac Léman. There have been Anglican churches in this areas for over 150 years, not to mention churches of other denominations, at least a dozen. Anglophone expatriates in the region number over 50,000. There’s something about being far from home that gets people thinking about their cultural and spiritual roots, and many of those who make the journey of faith show a hgh level of commitment.
A small church plant before my time in the countryside village protestant church of Gingins 25 miles from Geneva has now grown into a self supporting congregation with its own priest, and has itself spawned a new church plant in a French reformed church over the border in neighbouring Divonne-les-Bains.
At the same time, the Vaudois Protestant Church is struggling with tiny congregations, budget crises and reduction of pastors. Church closures are being contemplated, a terrible blow for these agricultural communities, invaded by large numbers of foreigners working for international organisations and businesses.
My friend Valdo has four agricultural villages with churches in his country pastorate, and works alone. In many town churches, regular congregations are 20 or less, except for big weddings and funerals. It’s very similar to the situation we are facing in Britain, except that in protestant Europe it’s been like this for decades. Decline towards virtual extinction has taken place slowly, because in many regions the churches receive some state finance. This is now dwindling, and churches are increasingly obliged to move towards self funding, and are not succeeding. Just like us. Across Europe Christian communities are wondering what the future holds – apart from the flourishing expatriate congregations.

New Year questions

Festive aftermath
No public transport, and many regulars away meant that this Sunday, New Year's Day, there was no public transport, and many regulars were away, so regular congregations were half the usual numbers. The streets were quieter than usual, and unusually still unswept after last night's revels. In St John Street two alarms were sounding when I arrived for the eight o'clock Eucharist. They were still sounding, unattended, eleven hours later, after Evensong, my fourth service of the day. It's hardly an advertisement for the security companies responsible for their maintenance. I wonder if the Council's enforcement troops will take them to task for such a prolonged assault on noise abatement laws, as they did for the silly singing Santas. The selectivity with which enforcement is applied is amazing. Thankfully, such alarms serve only to protect commercial merchandise and not some product whose theft would be capable of inflicting serious social damage. The fun fair continues tonight, but is more muted than last night. I got the impression yesterday that evening numbers were down on previous years, though there was a rush of vehicles into town and people gathering around the stage between City Hall and the Police Station, around 11h45, just to see the New Year in. Apparently there was also a New Year party at the Millennium Stadium as well. It'll be interesting to see if both together did as well as in previous years.

Devil's Advocate
There have been lots of large popular events on-street or in the Stadium this year, for one cause or another. Does there reach a stage at which the hassle of getting to such a happening outweighs the significance and excitement they generate? Are their audiences destined steadily to whittle down to those who like formulaic events, booze and food, precision marketed, wrapped in suitably bland sentiments. Wales can't win the Grand Slam or host a major Tom Jones birthday celebration all that often. The next acid test is the Millennium Stadium One Earth Concert to mobilise action against global warming on 28^th January. A pop star studded event is promised with contributions from the Manic Street Preachers, the Darkness, the Strokes and the Super Furry Animals. Fan loyalties will ensure a substantial crowd and considerable media coverage, but how will it touch those with their hands on the levers of power or those who influence them? In what sense will it be a Green concert, given the guaranteed volume of disposable food consumption devices. And given the New Year's Eve experience, how many emission producing kilowatts of electricity will be consumed on making the sound of all these bands unbearably, ear damagingly loud? Aren't there other ways of promoting such a good life-saving cause?