A right proper Ascension Day

How nice to have a bright, sunny, Ascension Day even if the temperature was more like early Spring than late. Fr Roy Doxsey and I shared the school Eucharist first thing before going our separate ways. He had three more Eucharists to do during the day, and I just two more.

For both of us, I think, this gathering of two hundred children of different faiths and nationalities with a couple of dozen parents and teachers could be no better way to start of day of celebrating our belief in the universal value and relevance of Christ Jesus our Lord for all humankind.

Later, as I was getting ready for the Midday Eucharist at St John's, two young men of middle Eastern origin approached me with questions.

First - how old is the church? (Easy, thirty second potted history)

Second - what sort of church, Catholic or Protestant? (Thirty second introduction to Anglicanism)

Third - do you worship the Virgin Mary like Catholics? (One minute on the difference between veneration, as opposed to adoration of God alone)

Fourth - do people here believe in God without obeying God's laws? (Well, sort of, but it doesn't do them much good - 30 seconds)

Fifth - do you believe people who do wicked things go to hell when they die? (Two minutes - You don't have to wait that long. Guilt, shame, fear in the face of wrongdoing means you've put yourself in hell already. Things can hardly improve later unless you do something about it?)

Sixth - but didn't Jesus sacrifice his life to forgive wrongdoers, whether or not they pray to him and believe? (Two minutes - yes, the point of him showing such love on the Cross was to defeat evil, stop it making people suffer hell, but wrongdoers still need to claim that love, learn to live by it, and change their ways to end their own suffering.)

Seventh - what about people who don't believe, or who came before Jesus? (A minute and a half on spiritual solidarity, harrowing of hell, and the righteous who obey God's law but cannot accept God as portrayed by religion.)

Time up. Sorry guys, gotta go say Mass now. Where do you come from? Kuwait. Are you Muslim? Yes. (Smiles all round) Ma'as sala'ama'. (Go in peace)

I enjoyed telling the congregation of eleven all about this eight minute interfaith encounter. Interfaith? Come to think of it, I didn't know their religion when they asked their questions so keenly. If I had, some of my explanations would have been more concise, as I've learned a little over the years about the commonalities, differences and the language terms that would have rendered my answers more concisely.

After the evening Eucharist, in which I recounted this exchange during my homily, Richard, my Vicar's warden recounted how he'd been quizzed about the church and its faith practices by a young Asian couple, just as he was about to depart after last Sunday's Evensong. They'd never seen an organ before, and wanted to know if the slots in the organ pipes were for posting letters into (presumably prayer texts - a not unfamiliar practice in some Buddhist parts of the world). He took pleasure as a good Christian engineer should, in explaining how this great device made music to accompany worship.

It turned out that the couple were Parsii (Zoroastrians).

Yesterday we had a return visit from a couple of young Cuban women, asking for prayers on the anniversary of the death of their Grandfather and Uncle. They were probably Catholic, but evidently they felt at home with us.

Such a privilege, to welcome the world into God's house.

Dydd Gwyl Dewi

As the four of us dined out and were late to bed last night, I was glad that Ben was preaching this morning, weaving together thoughts of St David and the beginning of Lent. When I walked home from church, the annual St David's Day parade was assembling outside City Hall, to the drumming of a local Samba band, and people in various odd-looking costumes or band instruments were streaming down Edward VII avenue towards the assembly point. All very jolly, but I can't help wondering what St David would have thought about such cavortings any time in Lent.

This year's annual service for the Mayors of Wales was appropriately at Eglwys Dewi Sant, which meant we didn't have to adjust our morning's liturgy in any way. What we offered was certainly Lenten, but cheerful nevertheless, and with 52 communicants, that was a biggest attendance since Christmas. There were only 15 in the evening for my first Lenten address and Compline. But that's just about normal.

In the Sunday evening series, I'm looking at Jesus in relation to people of other faiths in the Gospels. I'll be posting the talks on the 'Futurefaith' blog, as we proceed.

Faith and the civic agenda

We had another Faith Focus Group meeting yesterday, early evening, which for the first time brought to the table two Muslim women from the 'Women Connect First' organisation, which does great adult education work with black and ethnic minority women in the city. There was a discernable sense of delight in the meeting. We have Christian, Sikh and Hindu members, and now Muslim members, and have doubled the female representation in this 80% male group.

It was mostly a meeting to report on progress and setbacks in our publicity profile raising efforts. The Council being supportive, and the BBC failing to deliver streamed user generated video content to the big screen outside St David's Hall, as promised months ago. We agreed that it was most important to keep on making a video of photographic archive of faith community material that can be drawn upon for publicity uses in the coming year. An act of faith in the opportunities that will emerge, I guess.

There's some uncertainty about the groups future, some consideration being given higher up of bringing this focus group to an end. Members seem keen to continue to meet anyway, having found the opportunity to share on matters of common interest about public life worth the effort to maintain. Paul Mannings, our convener is convinced that group has already inputted enough of value to justify retaining it as part of a slimmed down Countdown process, right through. Well we have picked up on a few issues - notably toilets, and access to places of worship, street carers, and the place of faith groups in the public self image of the city's cultural diversity. Some of it elusive to start with, but not everything is cut and dried in something a complex as the life of an urban centre.

It's marvellous to see people of different faith convictions beginning to share a common interest in civic issues. I was reminded of the World Council of Churches missionary theological reportage back in the 1970's asserting that "the world (It's God's world) determines the agenda for mission". It turns out to be true as a basis for interfaith encounter as well.

Spiritual Capital Conference day

Finally, the day arrives - after months of delay and postponement, the launch of the Spiritual Capital research project report and database, with an afternoon conference at the Future Inn Hotel opposite County Hall, where the event would have taken place if, it were not for an employees strike.

Over seventy people turned up of the ninety who booked in. A broad cross-section of members of the city's faith communities, and a handful of political leaders and civil servants. There would have been more of the latter if it hadn't been for the strike.

The Spiritual Capital-Cardiff website relays all that's necessary to know about the day. I was much relieved that it had happened at last, discharging fully all the commitments we'd made to the Community Development Foundation who funded the project, albeit four months late.

Despite the strike we got double the number of attendees we thought we would get at the outset which only goes to show how much interest was generated by the survey and follow-up. Where we go from here remains to be seen. The report proposes the appointment of a Council Officer for religious communities to enable closer partnership and participation.

Gwilym, whose outfit 'Pollenshops' organised the conference has expertise and interest in relating to 'hard to reach' groups, in current consultative jargon. I think that verifying the database was something of nightmare for him, as he discovered how difficult it can be to contact many religious groups for whom you have advertised public contact details. This is precisely why a fieldworker working on creating this kind of useable network would be an asset in community relationships across the Borough.

Still, who is going to fund such a post? A lot more work needs to be done to make a reasonable and attractive case for this kind of social investment, and there are plenty around who would deny this has any value at all. If only it were easier to mobilise invistment in such an initiative from faith communities themselves. We can't expect everything to be done 'on the Rates' as my mother would say. I can but dream .... anyway the follow through will be interesting, simply due to the satisfaction this afternoon provided. Well organised, well researched, encouraging and positive for a change - a minumum of moans regardless of the opportunity.

One moan. Where were the press? Conspicuous by their absence. Not surprising really given that their contribution to the process of social communication involving religious was widely criticised by many present. In my view this was a major editorial faux pas on the part of Media Wales. How the bosses can expect the collaboration and trust of citizens who often find they are mis-represented, whose good news stories are passed over for bad news more often than not beggars belief. The reporters all missed a great event, with a good story to tell about people interested in making Cardiff even better than it already is. Miserable lot!

Multi-faith celebration

With the sacristy all upside down because of the builders and nothing easy to access, it was not a good day to be preparing for a wedding. I also arrived in plenty of time, but forgot my keys. Fortunately, I was able to get into the sacristy because of the workmen, and acquire spares to make me functional without having to return home for the full set I usually carry. By the time guests started arriving, I had everything prepared and was relaxed and ready.

Unusually, the bride arrived well ahead of the groom, who was still at home doing his hair, Beckham style. She busied herself briefing her brother, who gave her away, and other friends and family who were looking after music (from an iPod), and serving as ushers, bridesmaid, best man etc. She was radiant with anticipation, and although claiming nerves was confidently in charge of sorting everything out, before the man in her life showed up.

I made the mistake of not briefing the tiny young woman who was taking photos (with a hefty digital SLR with telephoto lens, which was an effort for her to handle) about being unobtrusive in taking photos. During the ceremony she wandered around, far too close, snapping away, her high heels clicking on the chancel tiles at every step she took. There were about thirty guests, and all just about managed to squeeze in to the choir, making for an intimate occasion, accompanied by the heels! Fortunately she'd forgotten to bring her flash gun. How I got through my homily without cracking and shouting at her I never know. To have stopped and ordered her to behave better would have destroyed the good atmosphere that had built up. During the vows both the groom and I fluffed our lines on one occasion. Blame it on the heels.

Apart from a few English friends from the Pentecostal church attended by the groom's mother, most of the congregation were young Malaysian ex-patriates. I heard several people arriving say that they'd never been to a wedding before or in a church before. The best man, however, declared himself to be a Catholic. The majority, however, were Muslim or Buddhist. What an amazing gift and privilege to address such a diverse faith congregation. I felt supremely happy, and apart from the heels from hell, greatly enjoyed blessing this union of young people feeling their way into an experience and a life in which faith matters, and pleased to show it to all their friends.

The groom said he'd like to come and join us for worship on Sunday. He works to support himself through University, often on Sundays. I wonder if they will come when opportunity arises?

Interpretation and dialogue across cultures

I started Monday sluggishly with an early wedding rehearsal for tomorrow, prolonged by the need to search for relevant books and sound playback equipment which was buried under plastic in the midst of heaps of books and files assembled by the building workers for protection in the middle of the room. Fortunately I was successful and the rehearsal concluded in time for me to move on to a meeting at school. The young couple are so excited, and delighted to be getting married, albeit far from home with just their local friends. There will be other celebrations for them with their families when they return home to Malaysia.

The meeting called this morning at school reported growing concerns arising from the fact that there is no longer an on-site caretaker. The house in the playground that was occupied by the previous caretaker wasn't really meant for this. It wasn't owned by the school, but by the Diocesan Board of Finance, which sought an unsubsidised rent considerably higher than what would be payable if the house had belonged to the local authority. With nobody to oversee the place out of hours the play area is now being used by druggies and prostitutes, requiring a meticulous clean up each day before the children arrive. This has only begun to happen over the past few months since the caretaker moved out, after decades trouble free.

Some of the city's homeless drug taking population has been displaced from the city centre by the redevelopment building work, and is making use of empty houses near the school We're now concerned that that house in the school yard doesn't become the the target of drug abusers, or others, as happened to St James' church after it was closed and before it was properly secured. The school site is anything but secure for an unsupervised property, and it's meant to be a zone safe for children, free from prying eyes. It's already several months since we first raised these concerns. Response has been slow so far, dominated not by the question of what needs to be done to restore security, but how whatever needs to be done can be afforded?

Tackling the problem requires involvement by the WAG the LEA and the DBF, and extensive expertise to know what can be asked of these three bodies. The Diocesan Education Officer, two community policemen, the outgoing and incoming head teachers and three of us governors were present, trying to tackle the question of how best to make progress. I fear that now the silly season of school vacation time is upon us, it will be difficult to make any progress at all, and that these issues will be there to welcome the new head teacher when he arrives in September.

A strange co-incidence arrived in my email after lunch. It was a message from a young woman who had been in an inter-religious relationship, happy and in love. Just like the couple I shall be marrying tomorrow, though not the same religious mix. The common element was that one of the couple was a 'non-denominational' Christian. In this case doubt had set in about the future of a married relationship, which both wanted, because of the differences in beliefs, but the other had withdrawn from the relationship, causing deep hurt. I was, at the end of her story telling, simply being asked if the church condemned inter-faith marriages.

All I could do was repeat what I had said to the young Malaysians about the teaching of St Paul who went to the trouble to defend the right of believers to marry outside their faith community, recognising that, as the Prayer Book later said "Marriage is a gift of God in creation", and in that sense a human covenant of love which existed before there were distinct confessing communities of faith. God doesn't discriminate among those on whom the gift of mutual love is outpoured. It's God's business God's calling, a challenge to all involved - couple, families and communities of faith, to learn to live together with their differences, and show what love is made of.

It appalls me that Christian groups ignore or neglect this 'difficult' biblical teaching but it doesn't surprise me. Not even the Revd Alan with his Hindu spouse to be Usha has yet stood up for his own position by citing the teaching of the New Testament. An unusual BBC omission.

Jesus was more inclusive and egalitarian than any of us in any generation since, and Christians have played all sorts of games down the centuries, often cruel and violent ones, in order to avoid keeping full faith with the Master's teaching. Scripture often seems to reveal our blind spots, and challenges us to examine our prejudices and priorities because of the diversity of ways in which it sheds light upon human experience. The CofE has only just, sixteen years on from agreeing to women priests, agreed a process that will make it possible to ordain women to the episcopate, in the face of considered resistance from those who cannot accept deviation from the classical model of apostolic church leadership. To me this seems inevitable.

There is still no universal consensus among Christians in which questions about how scripture can be faithfully interpreted and implemented can resolved, and that leads to differences in ideas about social roles and gender. It has given us critical problems of communication over the century of unrelenting change in every aspect of society. There hasn't been a single common mind among Christians on the nature of scriptural interpretation since early times. May be there never will be. Perhaps it's providential, a permanent challenge from God to people to think, to engage with scripture as faithfully as they can, and expect to be challenged in the search for the truth that sets each other free.

Marriage of cultures

.
In the end, I was very pleased with the way the wedding went, although a few unexpected last minute changes dealt me a load of stress I could have done without. The church was nearly full with wedding guests, over 250 of them. I had Ian watching at one door, and Chris my student on placement watching at the other, just in case the thief who plagues us at St John's decided to chance his arm. I was determined nothing be risk. The city traffic wardens did us proud, and let in just the right number of limousines, just at the right time. The bride, much to her astonishment, was applauded by the crowd of well-wishers that had gathered out of the shopping crowds, standing in the sunshine, enjoying her moment with her.

The two scripture readings chosen by the couple for the service (1 Cor 13 and John 15) were augmented with readings from the Baghavad Gita (in English), and a piece of Indian spiritual poetry (chanted in Sanskrit). A poem by Lord Byron, was read, and the long Nuptial Blessing from the C of E Wedding service, translated into Welsh was read by Dafydd Elis-Thomas, Presiding Officer of the Senedd, a family friend. He seemed to take as much delight in the occasion as I did. He was present in Church for the blessing of the British Legion Memorial Garden last Saturday as well, and spoke about that in a radio interview. Nice to have such a good plug for St John's.

Swami Shri Gopal Sharan Ji Maharaj arrived ten minutes late, straight off a plane from Mumbai via Dusseldorf. He got stuck in Cardiff traffic, as did the bride, though not for too long. He entered quietly and slipped into his appointed seat alongside me on the platform, during one of the readings. We greeted quietly and then listened together. He joined me in blessing the congregation at the end, which he did in a curious mixture of Sanskrit, English and Hindi that somehow managed to communicate his thoughts across all cultural frontiers.

The reception, to which Clare and I were invited started with tea at the Hilton at four, and continued with a reception banquet for 300 at City Hall. This began with a procession by the Groom on horseback, accompanied by a marching band, dancing guests and wellwishers (the road was closed for the occasion) from the Hilton. The bride and her mother, having changed into Saris since church, welcomed the Groom Indian style. The banquet started at half past eight and went on until after midnight.

The Hindu marriage blessing, scheduled for midnight was delayed and delayed again because of security staff anxieties about fire safety for the ceremony. Also the ceremonial fire bucket had got left behind in the Mandir and had to be fetched. The ceremony end up taking place in the great Marble Hall, because of the safety problems with the scheduled Council Chamber venue and started at 01h45. Reluctantly, we left at two. I was exhausted and consumed with anxiety about sleeping through a 7h15 alarm, to get me up for the first Eucharist. I sure was feeling tired, despite mediating patiently for the best part of an hour and a half waiting for the ceremony to start. It was meant to go on for another two hours. Age is teaching me to quit before I collapse!

I'm so glad I was asked to play a part in this marriage celebration. What really surprised me, in the course of the reception, was just how many people, Europeans and Indians alike, came and expressed appreciation to me for the church service. Yet, it was the bride and groom who did the work, putting together the readings, seeking permission and encouragement to make their Big Day into a day of meeting and cultural encounter. As you sow, so you reap. Several people, particularly Indians, said how moved they were to see their priest side by side with me, and my hand in blessing on a Hindu boy's head. I guess this says it wasn't always thus in their experience.

There's a disappointingly fanciful account of the event published on a BBC web page and heaven knows where else in the realm of cyber hype. The reality was far more exciting, joyous and lovely than the media drivel suggests. I know, because, as our Max says 'I was there'.

Wedding preparations

.
Rehearsal tonight for my last wedding booked for this year - and it promises to unusual, as the groom, is of a Hindu family, born and bred here, but with ancient family roots in the Punjab, and more recently East Africa. The bride-to-be is a farmer's daughter from the coastal plain to the East of Cardiff.

Lots of people came to observe, practice, give advice, or ask questions. It was a bit chaotic and quite hard holding it all together, full of good humour and excitment. I hope they remember what they need to for the ceremony.

Certainly they've worked very hard on making their wedding ceremony reflect the marriage of two people from different religious and cultural backgrounds. They've created an impressive wedding booklet with explanations of the different traditions and customs involved, to guide people through both the church service and the Hindu marriage blessing which will follow the reception at midnight.

Best of all from my point of view is that his family have invited a Swami to come over from India - a family friend and guru - for this blessing, and he will be present for the service in church as well. It's not so unusual for me to share the wedding platform with another Christian cleric, of my own or a different denomination, but it will be a first time for me to do so with a minister of another faith!

Forty one years ago, newly wed myself, I attended two college friends' wedding, in Bristol University's Catholic Chaplaincy. He an Anglican, she a Catholic. Such thing was quite unusual in those days, an ecumenical innovation, in the light of Vatican II, recently finished. Both were devout. The Chaplain offered a Nuptial Mass as part of the service, but neither of them received Communion, because at that time the new pastoral directions offering such a concession were not in place. And she wouldn't communicate without him also being able to communicate. But they both wanted a Mass to take place, and this was the compromise that was acceptable.

Here we are a couple of generations on from there. 'Ecumenical' now comes naturally, unless hard-line fundamentalist Christians are around. Nowaways, interfaith is becoming less of a novelty, but for the most part inter-faith marriages made are celebrated in a secular context. So this particular occasion is unusual, and something of an innovation. I never did anything like this in seven years of ministering in multi-faith, multi-cultural St Paul's Bristol.

Neither of the couple would consider themselves to be regular worshippers in either tradition. They value religious custom and tradition, but they have their own take on spiritual heritage and making their vows in religious ceremonies is of utmost importance to them. It's not Communion they renounce faced with an inflexible authoritarian institution, like my friends did, but the demand religious communities and institutions make of constant commitment.

I wonder what it will be like for this young couple when it comes to raising children to share their different cultures and values? What kind of community will they make, or want to belong to?

Including faith-communities

.
I had a day out of Cardiff today, at a seminar in Bristol, run by the Consultation Institute, which specialises in training people in local government and public service in the art of consultation - now such an important aspect of all political and governmental processes. This one was about Best Practice consultation and Faith Groups. As our 'Spiritual Capital - Cardiff' research project is concerned with relationships between faith-communities and various aspects of civil society, I felt it important to get some idea of the professional formation on offer in the public sector. I found it most stimulating, and found myself happily agreeing to ideas being put across. You can read my report for the Project Steering Group here.

There were some arresting contributions by speakers. One called Amer Salman was an English Muslim convert of about seven years standing, who realised a life of faith could do something about the inner emptiness of his life. He studied Islam before becoming involved, and reckoned that was just as well, because his mental conviction defended him from being put off by some of the strange and difficult things he found about insiders in the House of Islam. There are surely Christian converts who'd willingly say the same about church members too. He now specialises in cultural and religious awareness training for professionals from a Muslim standpoint. His website : 'Islamic Understanding for the West' is worth looking at.

The other speaker who had me buzzing was an English Buddhist, Kyle Hannan, who manages a Community internet Radio Station in Bristol called 'Salaam Shalom'. There a great video article to see on YouTube . Leadership which can inspire such creative interaction and dialogue across or within cultures is something very special. It's one of the better uses for such amazing technology that we're only just getting accustomed to use as 'tools for conviviality' (remember Ivan Illich?)

I was quite conscious that within the church - and I dare not speak for other faith-communities, standards of consultation vary on different issues and in different situations from Best Practice to Shameful. Some times recommendations can be put forward, acknowledged, and then not implemented, without any explanation. Even the very best of apostolic leaders can foul up completely from time to time. However well arranged are the the checks and balances of synodical government, the top people, whether in parish or episcopate feel that, in the end 'the buck stops with me'. Particularly in times of crisis. It's sad how readily we lose that sense of being 'members of one another' (as St Paul would say) when really we most need it.

Sunday surprise encounter

.
While we were socialising over a cup of tea after the Eucharist this morning, a young couple in their late teens early twenties came into church and sat down quietly together for a while. Then they came over to me, where I was saying farewell to someone leaving, and asked if I had time to talk with them. "I wonder if you could advise us ....", he said, somewhat tentatively. "We're pagans, and we want to set up a pagan temple over in Newport, where we live. And we figured that we should ask other religious groups if they'd support us, and help us get started, as many religious people try to respect each other these days, but we don't know where to start."

Well, neither did I. Some pretty unusual things happen in and around St John's, one way or another, but this was certainly without precedent! I had to think hard, and as respectfully as I could. The first thing that came to mind was the experience I had back in the late seventies and early eighties, when I worked in the inner-city St Paul's area of Bristol. It was a time when there were several different groupings of 'ethnic minorities', first generation immigrants striving to establish places of worship to call their own - Sikhs, Hindus, Muslims, and Christians of African and Caribbean Pentecostal backgrounds. I was involved in the advocacy work that enabled them to acquire buildings, get planning permission, funding, and receive a welcome in the network of religious communities in the city. This was where my education in religious pluralism began.

I was also reminded of the St Davids II development plans, which include in the shopping mall design a 'prayer room', without any indication as to who it's meant to serve or how it will be managed, let alone who has asked for this to be included in the architects brief. Sure, similar malls in Dubai or Kuala Lumpur may require such a space, likewise designs for airport teminals world-wide. But in Cardiff, a city whose publicity presents a social landscape which is almost religion free. Who asked for this? So, what I said to the young couple was this:

"Ask yourself, who is asking you to set up a pagan temple? Who is going to use it? Are there enough people of pagan religious community who are ready and willing to do something other than pursue their own private spiritual practices, because if there are enough people wanting to do something religious together, they'll find each other and make common cause to start the temple you like to see."

That was what I saw happening amongst the immigrant communities in Bristol during my years there. It was also what I saw amongst expatriate Brits in Switzerland, where new Anglophone arrivals eventually began to look for means to organise worship and social activity closer to where they lived and took time off, rather than trekking back into the city with its established English congregations. Out of the need for local community comes new intiatives. Simple and obvious once you've seen it happen. But not obvious to a new generation, exploring religious ideas that are probably new to them, taken from the global supermarket of religions, and slowly being unpacked and put to use.

Now, it's equally possible that this young couple were trying to wind me up for a laugh, as it is that their enquiry was sincere and serious. In fact, noticed the woman was wearing a silver pentagram as a necklace, but even so, they came into church looking for respect and acceptance, and I hope that is what they went away with, even if they answer they got demanded more of them than they might have expected.

Individual choice is everything today. If anyone is really enthused with what they discover they can sink their energies into promoting it, extending the offer made to them, in the hope that other individuals might catch on, and be persuaded. It's not quite the same as building community of people in a new situation who share something of a story or an identity, or a history of spiritual endeavour, which is the pastoral enterprise continuing to flourish among all sorts of expatriated cultural and religious minorities. It's not the same as evangelisation, which seeks to engage a new audience with which to relate the story of Jesus and his Gospel in terms that translate into people's own experience - from such shared experience new community does grow. It's what happens when you step outside the supermarket of religions clutching your newly acquired product. You have to learn how to use it, and to find out if there is any user support or even a network of users. And when it comes to individual acquisition of this kind, you're on your own to start with .

An unusual funeral

.
For only the second time this year, I had a funeral to do this week. It was of a man, born a Catholic, who spent much of his life as a seafarer, and in his old age, he'd started reading the Qu'ran and practising prayer Muslim style. A few days before his death he was visited by two local Mosque officials, and he made his submission to Allah, all of which left his family a bit bewildered about what to do, since he's stipulated in his will that he wanted to be cremated - not a very Muslim thing to do.

When I was in Geneva, the Welsh friend of an Iranian woman got in touch and asked if I would do her friend's funeral. She still believed and practised Muslim prayer at home but had an abhorrence of Iranian religious personnel. Her three daughters were content for a Christian priest to do their mother's service. We included some CD tracks of the call to prayer, and a reading of texts from the burial ritual in Arabic and English. On this occasion there was no Arabic speaker around and no CD, so I had to use the English versions of the prayers, and readings from the Old Testament and Psalm, with a brief Gospel passage about the compassion and unconditional acceptance received by all who turn to God.

In several areas of common human experience Christian, Jewish and Muslims each want to express the same things to God, and prayers are adaptable or interchangable. It seemed right to reassure the forty mourners of this, and to say that conversion even if it seems hard for us to think of it as anything other than a rejection, if it leads a fuller deeper relationship with God, is a work of grace, by the One who moves in mysterious ways through our lives. I'm not quite sure what the three daughters (again, co-incidentally) made of my explanations, but then they had plenty to deal with coping with their children and other family members.

They'd agreed to the visit of two Mosque officials who arrived ahead of the ceremony to wash the dead man's body and clothe him in a shroud. Was this OK? They wanted to be reassured. I had to explain that putting someone in ordinary clothes was something of a recent innovation, at one time working class families couldn't have afforded to see the late beloved's clothes go with them. When I started out in ministry, the shroud was still accepted convention for people of all religions. How quickly this has changed to the point where the custom has all but been forgotten - except in horror films.

When we traipsed out of the Roath Court Funeral Chapel, several old guys, probably ex-mariners or workmates, expressed their appreciation for what I'd said, or maybe it was for not glossing over things and pretending this was a Christian man's funeral when it was something different.

Just a believing man trying to work out what it was right for him to be and to do, and not letting himself be carried along by the flow.

It strikes me how often in the life of a pastor, the response one is called to make to a real situation isn't matched by the options available in the book of rules or the variety of liturgical texts. Having them is more of a safety net (or trampoline for take-off?). They give a basis in values and attitudes towards caring for people and accompanying them in the messy realities of real life and death situations. Starting from a dialogue with ones own tradition reveals what is relevant and what is not is always educative and creative. It makes the job worthwhile.